Epic Travel Tales

Well, here is is, lovely May with it's flowers. I've been up to some shenanigans since Ireland and it's time to share those shenanigans with you all.

We had parent-teacher conferences the week we returned from spring break, and, as always, they were depressing. I didn't see many parents, certainly not as many as the first session, and usually the "good" kids' parents are the ones that show. PLUS I spend 13 hours at school, which is about as depressing as life can get. BUT, we get the next day off, so I can deal.

Also that week, a friend from high school came down because his family owns a condo in Lake Worth. He, Annie, and I all met up in Boca for dinner and a little reunion. I haven't seen Antwon in a long time, so long I don't remember HOW long, and it was great to catch up. We had dinner at a Mexican place in Boca, and then went back to Annie's place to play a little Apples to Apples. It was a fun night.


The next night I was double booked--The Aussie's "Calle Ocho" party and Adam's birthday. I went to Calle Ocho first, in my finest chonga regalia. For those of you unfamiliar with the term "chonga" or the lifestyle one lives, check out this brilliant explanation. So anyway, here's me as a chonga, complete with black lip liner and faux tramp stamp with my initial. Hoop earrings are also key to the look...And yes, that is my thong underwear hanging out. It's a look, people!

Since I work with The Aussie, several of our friends are co-workers, who also all dressed up. Here we are... Now keep in mind that we teach children.

We. Teach. Children. After a couple of hours of being chongalicious, I walked to Crazy Pianos where Adam was celebrating his 25th birthday... again. It was a fun night, although tiring. Two parties in one night is a little intense. But still...

The following weekend, I took Friday off (it was a half-day anyway) and hopped on a plane (at 7 a.m., BOO) to Detroit for a weekend in Michigan.

I arrived without incident and Bob came to pick me up. We were gonna meet up with my mom, who called us about 10 minutes later and told us to meet her at the Bob Evans by the airport, which it took Bob and I about 25 minutes to get back to. Basically, the combination of Bob and I is a nightmare directionally. We finally got there and had a couple of drinks (Coke and iced tea, lol) and the waiter gave me some biscuits because he saw in my eyes the love I had for them. It was kind of a beautiful thing. It turned out to be the best thing because once we left it took about two hours to get to my grandparents' house when it should have taken an hour. Yay traffic for no reason.

We finally got there and I surprised Mema (she didn't know I was even in town) and spent most of the time at the feet of my favorite person on earth, my Grumpa. I used to think it was just me being wishful, but he really is better when I'm around. He even managed to say "I love you" to me, which is pretty amazing. A couple hours will never be enough time, but it was better than not seeing them at all, so I'm grateful for it.

The next day, I went to see Abita while my parents went to get some stuff for the house (they're redoing it). She was hilarious! I haven't seen her that "there" in ages, and we talked for, like, an hour. I completely understood her (she was even speaking in mostly English) and we had a great talk. She was telling me she wanted wine, and asked me how she could learn English, and told me I should get married. She was singing some songs in Spanish, too, which was kind of funny but awesome. Her voice is sort of bird-like now, so it was pretty funny.

I spent the afternoon with Liz and got to see her place, which is totally cute. We got ready and headed to Dusty's English Inn for our parent's party around 5:45. I didn't know most of the people there well (they're my parents' church friends) but they were happy to see that I actually DO exist and I'm not some phantom daughter they made up to tell stories about. lol. We had a lovely dinner and some drinks, and watched the Derby in the bar downstairs with some ladies and their huge hats.

Speaking of the pub downstairs, on my search for it (and a bathroom) I discovered a Harry Potter room--a cupboard under the stairs. It was so awesome!

After cocktails and dinner, we took a family photo in our Sunday finest, and then headed to sit outside and chat, I guess. We're some pretty good lookin' folks, if I do say so myself.

After a while of hanging out outside, Liz, her friend Jamie, and I headed back home to change and we went out for a little bit. We went to a place called Morty's (I think) and I met a guy who was 6'2" that I was in love with for about an hour SOLELY because he was 6'2". Short Miami boys are messing with my head... I MISS TALL BOYS!!!!!

Anyway, it was a fun night and it was cool to meet some of my sister's friends and hang out with her, 'cause we don't get to do that much.

The following day, Sunday, was the day I had to fly home. And it was an epic journey.

It all began when my sister took me to the airport, after an extremely necessary stop at Beaner's (I will never call that place "Bigby." That's lame and dumb.). I got there around 11:15 and had a flight at 1, so it was all good...until I checked in at the self-service kiosk and it said my flight was at 5. Um... no bueno. So I proceeded to the ticket counter where a lovely woman in formed me that my connecting flight to Chicago was canceled, so I now had to go through New York and would arrive in Miami at 11:40 pm, to which I replied, "No. No. That is not happening." And I was thinking, If I don't get back until 11:4o tonight, I will kill someone tomorrow, and it will probably be a student, and that will be bad for everyone. Then I heard two guys behind me who were also supposed to go to Chicago on the same flight, and I started talking to them. The lady at the counter asked me to get them up there as well, and while she was booking us another flight, one guy leans over and says under his breath, "Hey, do you watch 16 and Pregnant?"

"Yeah," I responded, more surprised that he knew the show than embarrassed to admit to watching it myself.

Then he says, "Remember the couple who gave their kid up for adoption in the first season?"

"Yeah..."

"The girl's mom's right behind you."

I turned around and lo and behold, there she was. "Celebrity" sitings at DTW. The excitement.

By this time the ticket agent, who was super nice, had booked me on a 12:30 flight to Cincinatti with a connecting flight to Miami at 3. The new flight was on another airline in another terminal... and it was already 11:45. Luckily, the guys I'd just met had a ride waiting outside the terminal, and, since we all had to go to Delta, I hitched a ride with them and proceeded to security.

I head to the security line, which wasn't too bad (a fact my paranoid traveling self was ecstatic about), and as I'm about to step through the metal detector, I see a resident of mine from Copeland when I was an M.A. there. Crazy! I haven't seen him (other than on Facebook) in about six years! We had a quick catch up, as much as you can in a security line, and my insulin pump alarmed, of course, and we all moved on.

The flight to Cincinatti was uneventful, but that airport was hilarious. The airport's not acutally in Ohio, you see--it's in Kentucky. I was in Kentucky the day after the Derby. You can imagine what I saw. The airport was filled with ladies with giant hats, and with giant hat boxes, and people who looked completely hung over and sort of like death. It was entertaining, at least. Took my mind off of the fact that I was, theoretically, in Ohio.

I found my terminal and waited for the flight, which was supposed to leave at 3. Around ten minutes to, a woman came on the speaker, to announce what I assumed was boarding. This is what she said instead, "Ladies and gentlemen, the plane that was supposed to take you to Miami has been struck by lightning and there's a crack in it. We have to cancel the flight." At this point, everyone starts to freak out, I'm about ready to cry, people have to catch connecting flights ... It was madness. American Airlines, though--problem solvers! They ended up canceling a flight to Chicago (running theme?) and using that plane for our flight. We took off at 4:45.

But, ladies and gentlemen, this epic tale is not over. I literally sat in the first seat on the plane. I could see the pilot and co-pilot and the jump seat for the flight attendant was about three or four feet from my own seat. And this dude was a trip. I swear to you--he was Slingblade. He kept telling stories and going "umm humm" like Billy Bob Thorton. And he LOOOOOVED to tell stories too. At least the ride home wasn't boring!

After all that, I made it back safe and sound to Miami and the chance to see my family was such a blessing. I can't wait to see them again soon. :)

Much love.